What Did I Do?
Tank here. I learned something powerful this week. It all started right after my bath. I was just trying to rub off the perfume smell the groomer had left on me. Oh, I know everyone else loves it, but really? I am not sure what they expected but I ran out to my usual spot to roll in the dirt when I noticed a nice, raunchy smell nearby. It was a good one! The smell of this rotting carcass was just what I was looking for. After a good dose covered my back pretty well, I ran to my girlfriend Roxie’s next door. She really liked my manly smell.
We romped till I heard my dinner call. I came barreling in as happy as a dog can be, but everybody was mad at me! They were yelling my name and pushing me back outside. They started spraying me with this fruity spray the groomer gave them! It was as bad as the bath smell but thank goodness my new scent was winning! The spray didn’t change a thing. So I ran for the door as mom opened it. But not so fast! Dad grabs me and mom starts pouring this stuff on me that smells kind of like last night’s spaghetti dinner. I dart for the truck as one of the kids opens the door. Finally safe! But not for long! Here they come yelling my name and I can see they are really upset about something. Hmmm… I thought it was dinner time! They had a bucket of warm rags. They were rubbing me all over with that. I liked it! Pretty soon we head back in the house but once again that didn’t last long. With no dinner still, I get tied up on the porch. What did I do?
Here comes Mom. Where is she taking my bed? To the garage? Here comes Dad with my bowls! What’s up? What about dinner and a movie, like last night?
It wasn’t fun or easy. I had to sleep out there all by myself without even a television! We all woke up extra early and they started spraying me again, but I escaped! Whew! I ran with my friends and didn’t even come when they called. I ran across that dead thing again so I tried to wipe off all the smell they had been spraying on me. Whew! Much better! I heard the truck coming up the road, and then they tricked me! They opened the tailgate and acted like we were going for a ride! It’s about time they started acting normal again. Boy, was I wrong! It seems mom had been searching online all night for ways to torment me. I saw the spray bottle; I could smell spaghetti sauce. They were at it again!
They had a new weapon, too! It was a box. Mom was coming at me with it. Dad was holding me down. I trembled as she shook the box over my coat. Dad started brushing me. Hey, maybe they’re not mad anymore. This feels good! They brushed and brushed that white powder into my coat then they let me go and shake it off, then come back for more brushing then shaking again, and feeding me cookies all the way. Mom says, “He likes the baking soda treatment.” And boy did I! After that, I was back in the house.